tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6317822193674196694.post5874043512406570490..comments2024-03-01T06:49:59.106-05:00Comments on Behind the Bit: On again, off again. Conflict about kitties.Stacey Kimmel-Smithhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08498926535389535263noreply@blogger.comBlogger21125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6317822193674196694.post-44727507970447259682011-10-17T18:46:24.964-04:002011-10-17T18:46:24.964-04:00The ASPCA has some good problem-solving strategies...The ASPCA has some good problem-solving strategies for cats not getting along. Here is the link: http://www.aspcabehavior.org/articles/93/Aggression-Between-Cats-in-Your-Household.aspx I believe you can also contact the staff behaviorists for assistance. (full disclosure -- I work for the ASPCA, but am not an animal professional. I had a cat who was biting me (hard!!) and an ASPCA behaviorist kmcdnhhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09262828346312836429noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6317822193674196694.post-67891770344968060922011-10-17T12:59:34.437-04:002011-10-17T12:59:34.437-04:00We have two cats that have lived together for goin...We have two cats that have lived together for going on two years, and they still don't get along. They give each other a wide berth when walking past, never EVER cuddle, and hiss at each other at mealtimes. Otherwise they just sort of ignore each other. Do I wish they were more friendly toward each other, yes of course! But things are fine the way they are. Newman and RK are definitely makingjenjhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01737679332792618499noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6317822193674196694.post-23897835410897911302011-10-16T13:02:58.342-04:002011-10-16T13:02:58.342-04:00I think the "Ays" have it for giving the...I think the "Ays" have it for giving the keety a chance. Let's face it: being indoors, there is nothing else to stalk, and in some ways, this is probably the most freedom of choice Newmann has had in a long time, and he's enjoying it. Here's hoping your husband got his angst off his chest and will understand it takes time.Kitty Bohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02030621211779302151noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6317822193674196694.post-44372950632557270032011-10-16T12:28:00.847-04:002011-10-16T12:28:00.847-04:00It's just like with kids. If nobody's be...It's just like with kids. If nobody's being seriously hurt, sometimes you just have to let them work it out. I doubt Newman is trying to be mean, he just doesn't have great social skills. Bringing an animal home doesn't guarantee 100% smooth sailing. It just takes time. He doesn't deserve to be sent back. I think that would be very unfair, IMO.Denise at Autumn Skyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00229028926029898680noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6317822193674196694.post-78195490092350517722011-10-16T11:58:57.822-04:002011-10-16T11:58:57.822-04:00One month is not nearly enough time- especially if...One month is not nearly enough time- especially if there has been no real aggression ( blood drawn). They clearly have the capacity to get along well. Not wanting to wade into the people issues here, but this does seem to be a human problem, not a cat problem. Give the kitties the time that they need, not the time the humans need.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6317822193674196694.post-87983968790036654102011-10-16T11:54:55.840-04:002011-10-16T11:54:55.840-04:00One month is not nearly enough time- especially if...One month is not nearly enough time- especially if there has been no real aggression ( blood drawn). They clearly have the capacity to get along well. Not wanting to wade into the people issues here, but this does seem to be a human problem, not a cat problem. Give the kitties the time that they need, not the time the humans need.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6317822193674196694.post-2579977900269937032011-10-16T09:09:31.716-04:002011-10-16T09:09:31.716-04:00If you had human kids that fought occasionally, wo...If you had human kids that fought occasionally, would you adopt one out?<br /><br />Animals have to work things out. A couple of scrapes is normal. You just got this cat ... give it time. This is not NEARLY enough time to settle on an answer. Tell Bob to chill, remove himself from the situation if needed (sometimes, animals get stinky around feed time or when there is competition for human Friesianwelshxhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11559821379568055421noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6317822193674196694.post-63189128404220355602011-10-16T08:39:51.805-04:002011-10-16T08:39:51.805-04:00I wonder if some of the reason behind the worsenin...I wonder if some of the reason behind the worsening of the relationship over the weekend is BECAUSE you were out of town. Cats are independent spirits but that doesn't mean they don't miss us or feel stressed when their people are gone.<br /><br />IMO, you're still in the settling in phase and will be for awhile. Things will go back and forth some, and the fact that you have the photobilliehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18187141867284800597noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6317822193674196694.post-11065095037406847462011-10-16T05:38:26.500-04:002011-10-16T05:38:26.500-04:00Allie, I have to say, getting that email while I&#...Allie, I have to say, getting that email while I'm at a conference, was upsetting. It did seem unfair. But he wasn't so much demanding a decision as getting it off his chest. IMHO it could have/should have waited. I was enjoying the conference and seeing that on my Droid was a downer.Stacey Kimmel-Smithhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08498926535389535263noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6317822193674196694.post-22891020847400841382011-10-15T23:41:12.008-04:002011-10-15T23:41:12.008-04:00Oh, dear... I'm not a cat person at ALL, so I ...Oh, dear... I'm not a cat person at ALL, so I know nothing about socializing them. I hope you can convince Bob to give them a few more weeks of "getting to know you."RiderWriterhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05679157278313699794noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6317822193674196694.post-30040768013348449912011-10-15T22:48:05.802-04:002011-10-15T22:48:05.802-04:00Demanding you make a decision when you're out ...Demanding you make a decision when you're out of town is really passive aggressive and not cool.Allienoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6317822193674196694.post-88769966773798824342011-10-15T21:15:25.419-04:002011-10-15T21:15:25.419-04:00More time -give it more time. They'll sort it ...More time -give it more time. They'll sort it out; even if its that they mark out territory in the house. Just make sure each one has access to food, water, and litter box. I say this from experience. Years ago when I moved from my apartment to my first house, I found my old female licking water off the shower curtain. Apparently in the new house she wasn't allowed downstairs to the paulaedwinahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18227553793605056089noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6317822193674196694.post-45986676151329943752011-10-15T20:58:42.381-04:002011-10-15T20:58:42.381-04:00I think hubby is being a bit dramatic here, IMO. M...I think hubby is being a bit dramatic here, IMO. Maybe he just wasn't ready for a second cat?<br /><br /> If the cats are even occasionally licking each other and getting along, it means peace is possible and probable. And so what if there's a bit of stalking and teasing from Newman? Once RK gets used to it, he'll just do the kitty version of rolling his eyes. The chasing and dramaMcFawnhttp://thistimedressage.wordpress.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6317822193674196694.post-4724708191673496432011-10-15T18:54:29.696-04:002011-10-15T18:54:29.696-04:00It takes 3 months for cats to sort out their issue...It takes 3 months for cats to sort out their issues and establish a pecking order. That's what I was told, at least, and that has been my experience with my two.<br /><br />My two still stalk, wrestle, bat, chase and bite each other, but it's all in good fun. No hissing/growling = no worries.Catnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6317822193674196694.post-84366731929249283222011-10-15T17:52:13.024-04:002011-10-15T17:52:13.024-04:00Its too bad they aren't getting along 100%.. y...Its too bad they aren't getting along 100%.. you sure wouldn't guess it form the picture. That picture's adorable!<br /><br />My thoughts on the situation: My cats have never achieved 100% harmony, but they tolerate each other quite nicely... after several years. It took a few YEARS of our original kitty beating on the newcomer (who had to stay... there's no way we were throwingKatehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01197789181776030907noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6317822193674196694.post-59593708457070126032011-10-15T17:31:39.853-04:002011-10-15T17:31:39.853-04:00Just a thought: have you tried Feliway? It's...Just a thought: have you tried Feliway? It's a pheromone product that can help relax cats in stressful situations. I wonder if it might give your guys the big of chill-out they need to complete their adjustment period (I've used it for that purpose). Or, maybe consider a chat with your vet? We recently put our male cat on a herbal veterinary product for this exact thing (except his Catherine Knutssonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16445110408772345941noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6317822193674196694.post-25980409485129454342011-10-15T17:18:30.210-04:002011-10-15T17:18:30.210-04:00Most of my new ones have settled in quickly, but o...Most of my new ones have settled in quickly, but one cat took about four months to settle in. I just made sure they each had safe places to go with lots mote cat hidey-holes than cats, and fed them separately, and it settled.Clancyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00349843561587332639noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6317822193674196694.post-60451889879787625582011-10-15T15:46:09.881-04:002011-10-15T15:46:09.881-04:00Is RK being physically harmed, or just irritated? ...Is RK being physically harmed, or just irritated? Does he hide constantly? If the stalking intimidates him into completely hiding (which doesn't seem to be the case), then I would consider removing him. Can Bob get him to chase a laser pointer for awhile to wear him out some?? If RK is annoyed rather than actually scared, I think more time/squirt bottle retribution might work. SK, you Netherfieldmomhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14260647159580710835noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6317822193674196694.post-80330203338720285052011-10-15T15:35:06.100-04:002011-10-15T15:35:06.100-04:00I really hope that you all can reach and accord of...I really hope that you all can reach and accord of sorts. I'd hate to see him have to go also. Hopefully time will be the answer. good luck!Maryhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04068684611506771719noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6317822193674196694.post-30725043240427303572011-10-15T14:45:01.521-04:002011-10-15T14:45:01.521-04:00It took us almost two months to achieve a happy si...It took us almost two months to achieve a happy situation when we brought Odo, our cat, into the family. Our big obstacle was training Ozzie, our Staffie, to disregard his prey reaction. Two months of having a dog constantly leashed to my waist or the two beasts separated by solid barriers until detente was achieved. Now they're best buddies, so I hope that patience pays off for your Janicehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14093558563358431804noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6317822193674196694.post-85210267774796618772011-10-15T14:12:41.164-04:002011-10-15T14:12:41.164-04:00If there have been no serious injuries and no bloo...If there have been no serious injuries and no blood, then the conflicts are minor. A real cat fight will produce damage. <br /><br />From the picture, it's pretty clear RK is not really intimidated by Newman. They'd never be that close if he were. <br /><br />I'd think another month or so would settle things down. And Bob needs to present a more positive attitude towards Newman so he Jeanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10029423500476995817noreply@blogger.com