Saturday, February 2, 2008

5 ways Harvey and I are alike

1. We are both good eaters, and we know what to do with a carbohydrate. We both like whole grains, but we aren't fanatical about health. To prove it, we eat icing. We both get crabby when we're hungry. The picture of Harv on the left was taken at dinnertime. He is watching the barn worker make her way over, and she is always so slow. This is the look one reserves for bad waitress. I have a similar expression, and Bob got a picture of it once--but I think it somehow got destroyed.

2. Neither of us likes wearing anything tight about the girth area. Through the miracle of lycra and lycra cotton blends, I can now wear pants comfortably. For occasions requiring a dress, the loose-fitting empire or dropped waist offers comfort, not to mention camouflage. The downside is that people often enquire if I am Amish. Harv has it tougher than I do. His girth is stiff leather, and it's necessarily snug. Even with elastic on both sides, he occasionally bucks when you tighten it.

3. Both of us are in to farm safety, although from perspectives. Harv watches out for the herd. Any any given moment, and without warning, Harv will do a "predator check." One moment he's grazing or zoning, the next minute he leaps sideways, looks around wildy, and blows through his nostrils like Darth Vadar. If no wolf or bear appears, he goes back to whatever he was doing. I'm more into facility safety. I know the last inspection dates of the fire extinguishers. I lecture kids about running in the aisle. I check stall latches to make sure they're closed. I keep a pair of wirecutters, in a bag labelled "WIRE CUTTERS," prominently mounted above my tack trunk.

4. We both love new shoes, and we find that our shoes fall in the same price range. Harv's are delivered and fitted in person every six weeks, and he gets four of them. They're kind of boring but apparently comfortable, because he moves great in new shoes. I get about one new pair a year, but they're cool-looking, like these Icon brand shoes I got last year. Not many size 9ers would wear these--and certainly not with an Amish dress.

5. Both of us are useless in emergencies. One morning, Harv's stall neighbor Simon got cast -- he was badly stuck, with a leg under the stall partition. Harv was absolutely frantic, he bellowed like a moose. Naturally I was the only human around. The most useful thing I did was call the barn manager and spew out a breathless, spastic word salad she could barely comprehend. Waiting for her and her burly husband to arrive, I paced in front of Simon's stall, pleading please get here . Simon was the sensible one; he lay quietly and awaited competent assistance. He was freed in a few minutes, but Harvey shook and bellowed for hours afterward. I practiced my deep, cleansing breaths...

By the way, I don't really wear those shoes with that dress, and actually that picture is from an Ebay posting. I own a lot that look like that though.

1 comment:

  1. I loved your post today. It made me laugh all the way through. I will look out for you again.


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